Dating coach Renee Piane has a new book called “Get Real about Love.”
For all those busy and successful people out there complaining about not finding love in their life, author, dating coach and love reinvention expert Renee Piane says “get real.”
Her new book Get Real about Love by LoveWorks Publishing offers practical advice for busy singles on how to get themselves ready for the type of relationship they most desire. Piane has spent the past 27 years as a matchmaking consultant. She’s the pioneer of Rapid Dating, a seminar leader and self-described “love designer” helping both men and women tune up their personalities, physical appearances and even their homes in order to attract the right partner.
Now she has taken what she learned and put it into an easy and fun to read format loaded with good advice where she also opens up about her own path to a loving marriage. We spoke with the love designer over iced teas at a local hotel bar in Marina Del Rey where Piane lives with her husband.
“My big message is to get real about your love life and take the time to focus on what’s most important,” she said. “Especially in Los Angeles, there are a lot of lonely people here who are very disconnected and everyone is so busy,” she said. “The fact people are in their cars all the time or on their phones or their iPads makes it really hard.”
For suddenly single or newly divorced people struggling to get back in the game and meet the right person, Piane advises them to really slow down and re-evaluate who they are and exactly what type of person they want to attract. She says “many busy people rush into relationships without much thought and end up attracting unavailable people because they too are unavailable. So the first step is to slow down.”
“I get people to really look at the depth of their soul goals, their values, and get real with their heart,” she said. “Have you become the person you want to attract? A lot of people wait for this special magic to happen with some other person but they haven’t taken care of themselves or gotten over their ex.”
Many people also have something she calls “once-I-syndrome.” They think “once I finish this book, or once I get my business going, that they will find love,” she says. “They put love in the future and they think that all of a sudden when this project is done that this doorway to heaven will open up. It’s very important for busy successful people to really reflect on what they want and look at how they are marketing and branding themselves.”
As far as the best ways to meet someone, her advice: Take action by spending 3-6 hours per week doing some new types of group activities close to your home. Mix it up by taking a painting or cooking class, or trying out the various business or social networking groups. And don’t zero in on one person. The point is for people to see you interacting naturally with others and build a supportive community. Another option is to become a connector and start your own group.
Piane also teaches flirting classes and considers herself to be a master at teaching her ‘Flirting with Life’ technique to help people connect.
Her own love story, told in the book, about getting married for the first time at age 45 also details the steps she used to open her heart to trust in love again. It wasn’t until the death of her mother due to a rare drug reaction that she truly opened her eyes, she said, and made finding a loving relationship a priority. As part of the story, she also traces the backgrounds of her female role models and love mentors growing up.
“This is a different kind of dating book because it takes a look at our love lineage and where we got our role models and beliefs about relationships from,” she said.
Last year Piane was awarded International Dating Coach of the Year. She’s written two books, lectures throughout the country and hosts expert panels, seminars and fun social events. She’s a frequent guest on television and radio shows as a constant reminder to let love into your heart and stay true to yourself.
“My work is really dedicated to showing people that anything can be overcome by being honest with yourself and treating your heart sacredly,” Piane said.