December 8, 2023

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Divorce attorney says men should pay on first dates as a ‘sunflower test’

Divorce attorney says men should pay on first dates as a 'sunflower test'
  • Divorce attorney Justin Lee said men should pay on first dates to check if their date is “worth”.
  • The Toronto-based family lawyer said it’s the “best tamper test” for a partner tik tok.
  • The video sparked a debate about dating etiquette and who pays for dates.

Guys should always push on first dates – but not for the reasons you might think. That’s at least according to one Toronto divorce attorney who believes paying for dates is the perfect test.

Divorce attorney Justin Lee said in Tik Tok video Which garnered more than 342,000 views.

“The problem is when we end up paying someone with this real sense of entitlement, such an expectation that we’re going to pay. And that’s exactly why we always need to pay.”

It’s the “real best test”, as he describes it in the caption.

He continued in the video, “Your date, whoever it is, may be the one you end up getting married. And trust me when I say, as a divorce attorney, that you end up getting married is a very important thing.”

“Suppose, at the end of the date, you pull out your wallet and offer to pay. And your appointment stays there, expecting you to pay, as if that were the obvious course of action,” he said.

“I’ve just learned that the person in front of you is empowered and, frankly, daring to expect a soon-to-be stranger to pay for it. Just imagine how someone like that could treat your significant other.”

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He added, “For the low, low price of $20, $30, and $40, I knew the person in front of you doesn’t have the basic courtesy of pretending to offer to pay. You should therefore not go on another date with him.”

Lee, who has 175,800 followers on TikTok, is a family law Attorney at McCarthy Hansen & Company in Toronto, Canada. He did not immediately respond to Insider’s request for comment.

The video sparked discussions about dating etiquette, with some users saying that the person asking for the date should pay.

One user wrote in a comment that has garnered more than 1,600 likes: “Counterpoint – for the first time, a woman usually invested much more money (and time) in clothes, hair, makeup, etc. – everything a man would expect.”

He assured me in the comments that men would “happily pay” because “paying is not the problem”.

“The issue is when a woman sees paying as an obligation rather than a kind gesture. An address in exchange for appreciation. No one owes anyone anything!” he wrote.

“For the record, this is not gender specific – any man or woman who feels entitled in any way to the other is a red flag walking,” he added.