Jennifer Lopez felt like I was going to die after Ben Affleck’s breakup

Jennifer Lopez He told her and Ben AffleckHer breakup 20 years ago was so “painful” that she thought she was “going to die”. In a new interview, the singer talked about her latest Affleck-inspired album and what the actor and director had to say about some of the songs’ seemingly personal lyrics.

Lopez, 53, spoke to Apple Music’s Zane Lowe about her upcoming album this is me nowand is the follow-up to her 2002 hit project This is me…then.

“Twenty years ago, I fell in love with my life,” Lopez said explained. “Now, the most amazing, unbelievable, unbelievable thing happened… The reason we are here is because I want to capture this moment in time because it is better than the first time.”

Affleck and Lopez tied the knot (twice!) over the summer after rekindling their relationship. The Gigli The co-stars initially called off their engagement in 2004.

“It was so heartbreaking after the breakup. As soon as we called off that wedding 20 years ago, I was—it was the biggest heartbreak of my life. I honestly felt like I was going to die,” Lopez recalled. “It sent me into a spiral for 18 years where I couldn’t get it right. I couldn’t get it right. But now, 20 years later, it has a happy ending. An eventual end in Hollywood.” That’s never going to happen. We’re not going to write that because no one is going to believe it “ends.”

Lopez said that when she and Affleck got back together, he called her out for not performing songs that were about him. This is me…then.

I was like, ‘You’re right. It hurt. It was a part of me then that I had to let go in order to move on and survive,” Lopez recalls. (By the way, she said that Affleck “knew all the words” to the songs on this album).

“This is me…then Really captured a moment in time when I fell in love with the love of my life. Everything there is registered. I didn’t even realize what was happening and what I was doing,” Lopez recalled. Every single song we wrote there, I was writing “Dear Ben,” it was a special moment in time to capture. “

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Lopez said the media frenzy surrounding their relationship “devastated us” all those years ago.

“Part of what was destroying us was the outside energy that was coming at us. And we loved each other, it was hard. I felt, at times, wronged, but neither of us is that person to be like, woe is me. So we were like, “Well, we just have to dust it off and keep it going.” And I think, in the weirdest way, it motivated both of us to become and do the things we ended up doing, which is kind of getting into recklessness,” she said, noting that they “had to do So separately.” He got into a high speed state and I went into full gear. But not together. We had to do it separately… It fueled us in such a strange way that we felt we had to prove ourselves again.”

Lopez hinted at that this is me now It will contain the same character lyrics as its predecessor.

“I was captivated in this moment when I was reunited with the love of my life and we decided we were going to be together forever. The whole message of the album is that this love exists. This is true love. Now I think about the message of the album a lot if you’re wondering if you, like me, are at times , have given up hope, or almost give up, don’t do it. Because true love does exist and some things last forever and that’s true,” the marry me common star.

“I want to get this message out to the world and it takes a lot of vulnerability. But I couldn’t help myself and some parts of it scare me. And I think parts of it scare Ben too. He’s like, ‘Do you really want to say all this stuff?'” And I’m like, “I don’t know how to do it, baby,” Lopez joked.

this is me now It will be released in 2023.

MORE: Jennifer Lopez says video of her performance at Ben Affleck’s wedding was ‘stolen’